Julien Art

This was one of our gifts from my parents. It is incredible art by one of my favorite people ever Sherry's daughter Shelley. She is SO talented and put SO much of us in this.

This isnt a very good picture because I cut off a little of both sides. So the left side is swirly for cake decorating, the pearls are because I love pearls, the cross for our faith the middle is part of the family crest, the J for our last name, the fleur de lis because they are the sign of eternal hope and I love them, the oil running from the fleur de lis because both mine and his family is in oil, the rings just like my wedding rings, the dogtags with our initials and the camo because of the army, all of the patterns/prints are me, the kings crown as I love my LA Kings and the bolt behind it for the SD Chargers because Zack is a lifelong Charger fan. I will upload a better picture when it gets here. I am in love with this thing!!!!! I cant hardly wait to get it home!

California Christmas & Texas New Year

I have been neglecting my blog through the holidays, for that I'm sorry! We spent some time in California with all of our family. It was EXHAUSTING. FULL days of travel from place to place and unfortunately it was still not enough. We did our best to see everyone but we wished we were there longer because there was still a lot more family & friends we wanted to see and spend time with.  Christmas was amazing. Probably one of the best in my life. We flew into San Francisco which was crazy, that airport is gigantic. We had a driver take us to the Inn at Spanish Bay. We had a few hours before my parents got there so we went for a walk down to the beach. It is so beautiful there! We loved it! We walked around most of the property just taking it all in. After my parents got there we went to dinner at Mission Ranch I think it was called. It just so happened it is Clint Eastwood's restaurant and he was there having some drinks. Zack golfed with my brother, dad and dad's friend. It was an awesome experience for him. He loved it! We headed back to Bakersfield and then the madness began! All of the time we had in Bakersfield was spent going and going and going. I had all of the presents to wrap to both sides of our family so I got very little sleep and we literally were nonstop, all day, everyday. I am still tired thinking about the amount of stuff we fit into such a short time.  I think with all that has been going on in our life and having surgery only 2 weeks before we did pretty good holding it together for the family and doing our best to spend some time with everyone. Next year will hopefully be more time home and significantly less stressful as we still hope to have a baby in our family.

This last few months has been extremely hard on Zack and I. In fact this whole year has been insane. From the remaining few weeks of deployment to Zack's return, moving to Texas, our anniversary, the baby journey and everything in between! We are really looking forward to a fresh start in 2011 with all the happiness and love we can stand. We are so blessed to have been given the opportunity to live here. As hard as it was to move from California it was definitely the best decision I have ever made. God had a bigger plan and knew that this place is exactly where he wanted us. We have grown so much and grown together that has made our bond unbreakable. We have gone through every emotion a person can go through this year and had to deal with so much. No one will ever know how hard 2010 has been in our life. People always say the 1st year of marriage is the hardest, they have NO idea. It is insane to think back on this year and all we have overcome. We are SO, SO, SO, thankful to have had the prayers and support of our family and friends. We are SO excited and ready to face 2011 and what we believe will be one of the best years of our life. We love you all!

Have a blessed, safe, health and love filled new year!

Keep dreaming your dreams and enjoying your journey!!

new developments...

Well we have decided officially we are going to hold off on continuing IVF. It is the decision we made together and feel it is what is right for us at this present time. We are going to get through the holidays and collect some more information and make a decision on how to move forward in a month or two. We are both confident this is the best choice and are still looking forward to whats ahead.

It's OVER.

The first shot is DONE! Thank you GOD!!! It was brutal but it is over. Only 50+ more to go. Come on January!

as the minutes pass...

I am terrified for this shot...7minues!!!!!! These moments are definitely going down in a baby book some day! HOLY MOLY! Here we go!!!!!!

Strong hearts and minds

This morning I am overwhelmed. I sat reading and rereading my schedule and paperwork for the IVF process I just got so afraid and overwhelmed. I am trying to keep the faith but this is almost too much. As it stands right now, beginning tomorrow, I will have at least 1 shot a day until the end of January possibly longer. Some days more shots and meds and tons of blood work. All of which I absolutely hate. I was a an adult before I could get my blood drawn without bawling like a baby. Last week I was so excited to be at this point but now I am so scared.

I sit back and just feel so frustrated. I feel like why me? Why do I have to go through all of this to have a baby? Why do so many people frivolously get pregnant and then abort their child when I would love to have that opportunity to "choose" life for our child and give a baby such a good life? So many people, even friends, complain about pregnancy pains, being sick and what messes their kids make around the house and I just think be grateful! 

In the end this still, small voice keeps saying to enjoy my journey. I know that the reward will be so worth all of this and that this process is grooming me/us for something ahead. Hopefully all of this will grow me to be able to help someone else enjoy their journey. In the beginning I though IVF would be hard but now I realize just how hard this is both emotionally and physically. I am SO grateful to have this opportunity and SO glad I have my husband by my side and our entire family behind us praying and giving all they can and I know this is what is meant to be in our lives. Today I am praying for strength. Strength to go through all of this and strength to learn whatever God has for me. 

The thought of the day is a strong hearts and minds.

Today is one of those days...

I want to be in California!!!!!! I miss our family!!!!!! I am feeling way better today and drove for the fist time! Yay me. This has been WAY harder than I thought it would be. The doctor had to remove so much and do so much that I was really sore. My incisions look good though. They are great battle scars I am going to show my kids at all I have to go through to have them! That should win some points. Just kidding.

It sucks being here sometimes and today is one of those days! I have made a few friends through school and have Zack which is fantastic but I am missing home a lot lately. Zack has CQ today/tonight which means I am on my own until tomorrow morning. Bummer! Anywho, in 9 days we will be home!!!!!! We are SO ready. The countdown is on. Be prepared family...we cant wait to see you all. Love to you all.

5 steps forward...

I am alive! I had surgery Friday and it was intense. It was supposed to be an hour and a half and ended up over 3. This surgery has been kinda hard but Zack has taken great care of me. I'm glad we opted to go this route because once my doctor got in there he had to clean up a lot but the good news is we get to start IVF shots this next week. I cant wait. Sounds nuts to be excited for shots but it is a step closer!!

Huge Steps in our Journey...

We have kept a lot of our journey pretty quiet as it is a very personal journey. We have only shared with the closest of friends and family. However, as we are looking toward the next steps in our journey it is time we need to rally the ones around us to pray. There are many more dynamics but the basics are, we have been trying to have a baby with no luck. We chose to seek a doctors opinion on the matter just to make sure everything was OK. After seeing the doctor he informed me my hormones were very off and were a cause for concern. I did some research online and chose to seek a second opinion and get more information. In doing this I found a doctor online that was in Austin (approx 1.5 hours from home) and after my first visit I felt much more at peace. Unfortunately, I have had to under go multiple blood work ups and other things and now tomorrow I am having my fist of 3 procedures. We are blessed to be able to begin the process of IVF (Invitro Fertilization) in a couple weeks and hopefully our prayers for an addition to our family will be answered.

My brother bought me a sticker a couple weeks ago that says HE>i it is a symbol of John 3:30 -- He must increase and but I must decrease. I'm trying to let myself and my fears decrease and let Him increase today. However, it is really hard as the fear of the unknown is clouding my mind and heart. I am so blessed though to have Zack by my side and really face this head on with him and have our family and friends being us. We have kept this very close to us as it is very personal but we both feel the need to seek the prayers and support of the amazing people in our life. As we always say...enjoy the journey. This part of our journey is proving to be a hard part but we are holding to the faith and each other and continuing on. Continue to enjoy your journey...

Enjoy the Journey

As the blog is named enjoy the journey as is our life journey motto. We have been through a lot and our personal journey in the last 6+ months has really had some rough patches watching others taking for granted the one thing we have worked, prayed and hoped for. Enjoy the Journey is our little thing to keep us keeping on. I now have a necklace with our Enjoy the Journey on it...

Etsy.com has a store called the The R House Couture. They have a lot of little necklaces with witty sayings or sayings of hope or encouragement and also custom things and they made my Enjoy the Journey motto come to life!The link is http://www.etsy.com/shop/therhouse?section_id=6620965 if you are interested in getting a necklace like this.

Memories of our Journey

As I have been preparing some gifts for Christmas I have needed pictures. It is SO fun looking through them. We have thousands and thousands. It is crazy!! It is so fun to look at all we have experienced together! I thought I would share some of my favorites...

Our 1st picture together

Disneyland -- Christmas 2007

Relaxing together in 2008

Thanksgiving 2008

The vows that hold us together -- 09.19.09

My favorite of our beach pictures -- 09.19.09

Zack's return from Iraq! 1.15.10

Hawaii 2.10

Our 1st anniversary 09.19.10

December...Remember

Today is December 1. I absolutely cannot believe December is already here. It is hard to believe how much time is flying. This month holds some happy times with the happiest season of the year! I love Christmas. It feels like everyone is so much happier and ready for a fresh start with the new year. It is insane to think how much my life has changed over the course of the last year and how much it is still changing. 2010 has held the remainder of Zack's deployment to Iraq, his home coming, huge adjustments, 23rd birthdays for us both, the move to Texas, big decisions, the adoption of another dog, the begin of culinary school, our 1st anniversary, our 1st major holiday without our family, and SO much more. It is crazy how many ups and downs we have had but it has changed us a lot and brought us even closer together. We have had such an emotional roller coaster and so many obstacles to face but we always seem to make it through. We have come up with our life slogan of "enjoy the journey" and it is so true. It is probably the most profound concept that has ever fit my life. We are learning with every step that it is all part of the Master plan and it is our job to stick together and enjoy the ride.

I know first hand that sometimes the hustle bustle of life really gets your spirit down but a little prayer and a look around at your blessings can change it all. From your spouse to your kids, your pets to the dinner you serve, they are all major blessings. Such a cliche statement but truly the best things in life are free...the moments we share with our family and friends can never be duplicated or relived. Our life is so short and we rarely stop to recognize that. The scripture below says it for us! 

I was addressing some Christmas cards and on my side of the family and I have a file saved on my flash drive that has most all the addresses I needed. It was the template for all the address labels that were on my high school graduation party. I was just getting the ones I needed and getting ready to press the little red dot to close it when I saw a name. It was my grandpas name. When I looked at the whole list it was mind boggling to see that 5 family members and 1 friend on that list have passed away since then. We are working on 6 years but still it is so crazy to me! It really has had me thinking a lot and really making me focus on what/who I have in my life right now. I used to go to breakfast with my grandpa at this really kinda gross place with the worlds best chicken fried steak and we would always sit and talk about whatever the mood struck. I don't know if it was the grease or my amazing grandpa, (pretty sure the latter) but it always made the day great no matter what was happening in my life and was the perfect anecdote for the broken heart. Those breakfast dates are all I hold onto of my grandpa and those "free" moments changed so much in my life. Those times we some of the best and at the time I didn't even know it. Slow down, catch your breath and look around because your life is a precious gift. It's not promised to you to have tomorrow so enjoy your journey today.

James 4:14 --"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."